Mood

Why do I feel so anxious and irritable after 40?

Alison
By Alison2 min read

Short answer: Oestrogen helps keep your mood steady, so when it rises and falls before menopause you can feel anxious or snappy for no clear reason. Exercise, less alcohol and regular meals help, and your doctor can talk to you about HRT or talking therapy.

You snap at your kids over nothing. You lie awake worrying about things that never used to bother you. Then you feel guilty for snapping, and the guilt makes it worse. If this is new for you in your 40s, your hormones may be part of the story.

Can hormones really change my mood?

They can. Oestrogen affects the brain chemicals that help keep your mood steady, like serotonin. In the years before menopause, oestrogen rises and falls without much warning, and your mood can swing with it. Many women find their PMS gets worse in their 40s, or they feel low and on edge for days at a time.

Why do I feel anxious for no reason?

Anxiety is a common symptom in the years before menopause, even for women who’ve never been anxious before. It can feel like a racing heart, a tight chest, or a sense that something bad is about to happen. Bad sleep makes it louder. When you’re tired, everything feels bigger and harder to handle.

What helps with mood swings?

  • Track your mood for a month or two. If it follows your cycle, that’s useful to know, and useful for your doctor.
  • Move your body most days. Exercise is one of the best-tested ways to lift a low mood.
  • Cut back on alcohol. It can make anxiety worse, especially the morning after.
  • Eat regular meals. Long gaps can leave you shaky and short-tempered.
  • Tell the people at home what’s going on, so they know the snapping isn’t about them.

When should I talk to my doctor?

If your mood is getting in the way of your work or your relationships, go and see your doctor. A racing heart is worth mentioning too, so they can check it. There are treatments that help, including hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for some women and talking therapies like CBT. You don’t have to just put up with it.

If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself, please don’t wait. Contact your doctor or a crisis line today.

Before your appointment, tick the mood symptoms on my free symptom checklist so nothing gets forgotten.

Sources

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